The journey to which I want to invite you is quite dangerous, difficult, and risky. A journey with a name: creativity. It has always intrigued many psychologists, philosophers, musicologists, and theologians. A creative person is highly valued and sought after today. However, according to St. John Paul II, each of us is the creator of their own life. Observing children who are absorbed in the permanent creative process, I would like them not to lose it. How do you stay or become creative? Where to travel and with whom? I would like to look at this process, not from the perspective of a researcher but of a composer. I will try to find words for what is so difficult to express or define. But perhaps such a journey may remain an undiscovered mystery.

Let us consider the word “creator”, which in Polish is related to the “Creator”. On the other hand, the word “colere” (from Latin: to cultivate, care for) in Polish translation means culture. From this perspective, creator is in constant contact with someone who equips him with tools, gifts needed to cultivate the inner. Following this thought, a question arises: what should growing this inner look like? It is like the child mentioned in the introduction: receptive and open, full of sensitivity and mystery. Asking the question “why?”, “what for?” In all these questions there is a constant need to organise, arrange, come to conclusions and express in the work. Expressing with a certain force, the so-called creative imperative, that allows a work to be “born” – like a mother. We give the child what we think is best for them. We want to show them great music, literature, beautiful pictures, as well as amazing nature. It is difficult in a conformist everyday life, but it is possible for conscious work on the inner to become everyday life.

The inherent factor shaping the creator are in feelings and emotions that do not bear the hallmarks of moral judgment. They are not good or bad. They just are. And it is a success if someone can name them. Feelings and emotions draw a map of our depth, guiding the creative process. They allow us to name sounds, words, shapes, and colours.

The creator is creating both love and suffering. History shows the liberating power of suffering. It is said that an artist who hates is not an artist. Suffering ennobles. Everything influences their inner: what they see, hear, and feel. In a word: what they feed on. They not only live, but also experience and taste experiences. They gather experiences and find out their limits. They express suffering in the work so that what is difficult may find a way out. They often run away to “hide” and discern what is good, what their souls and minds want. Suffering was the subject dealt with by, among others, Sofia Gubaidulina in the musical piece Passion by St. John, Valentin Silvestrov in Requiem for Larissa, and many others. Like suffering, love also liberates. Love has been and will be an inspiration for many artists. Aleksander Lasoń said that all his pieces flow from love, especially the V Tao Symphony.

When working on the inner, I cannot fail to mention two dimensions that are important to me. The first is cultivating spirituality. Certainly, every creator finds their way to it. From my point of view, contemplatio is the way out. Staying over what is important for my interior: contact with the Creator and prayer that harmonises, arranges, brings out. With it, creation becomes not only work, but something more. Working on the whole of one’s humanity makes a person coherent and committed in all dimensions of life. The second important factor for me is the inspiration of motherhood that I have been blessed with. It is like touching a certain mystery, the miracle of creation. Carrying, bringing into the world, and shaping the “melody” of this mystery fills the inner world with enormous, pure joy. The inner surrenders to the work on the highest value and finds the meaning of existence. It feels part of God, the universe, the world. It feels the power to create and transfers it to creativity. The child shows an undamaged world, a world full of emotions, the order of which lies deep in nature. Observation of and admiration for the child give the opportunity to absorb it and allow to experience motherhood more consciously. A motherhood that does not hinder creativity, but helps enrich and fulfil it.

In addition to the work on the inner, a workshop is needed to create a work, which consists of several factors. The form of the work is tangible evidence of the arrangement of the inner by the artist. Often, according to a previously prepared detailed plan, combined with an irresistible intuition, the composer chooses a specific harmony, melody, rhythm, and other factors that determine the work. They translate their introverted world to paper to show it to the external world in an exhibitionist way. In the case of a musical work, the creative process does not end with the composer, but with the performer. Unlike in a painting or literary work, the creator of music faces time – with a work that lasts.

Does the creator think about all of these while creating? I repeat after Wojciech Kilar: no, they are thinking about the workshop. I will add that they subconsciously and intuitively reflect what they had previously absorbed. The creative process is a vocation, and requires passion and dedication. Looking at myself, I wonder how I can cultivate, how to sow, what to absorb, to give someone beauty, and at the same time to fill myself and be grateful for the gift that is a mystery, also for the creator himself. This gift is not reserved for the chosen, but everyone is called to be the creator of their life, to say “it is done” at the end. Where to travel? Until we get there. Until the depth becomes a space expanded by noble thoughts. Until eternity holds us together.

Sonia Brauhoff


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